ell, here we are again, the last Friday before the start of a new month so it's time for a GAPPER. There's an article on Wikipedia, local gossip, a new amazing Video Bank and a fantastic quiz. Enjoy the month of June.
A few facts about Wikipedia...
GAPPER has had a number of emails recently from Followers quoting facts from Wikipedia and it's time that Followers are reminded of a few real facts. Wikipedia is edited by the public, that's what a WIKI is, but that brings with it a few problems. Information provided can be wrong and for a number of reasons.
Maliciously - More often than not this is done with a humorous intent and is rectified immediately it's brought to the administrators attention. The offending editors have their accounts closed but there's nothing to stop them using yet another alias. A few years ago Ronnie Hazelhurst the prolific BBC songwriter died (Last of the Summer Wine, Are You Being Served, Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em) and someone had edited his entry and put that he wrote a top hit song of S Club 7 . This appeared in his obituary in most daily newspapers, proving that journalists do little research other than look it up on Wikipedia.
The crème de la crème of them all has to be when at the end of the World Cup in South Africa the S.A. government held a posh do for Sepp Blatter the thieving fiddling head of FIFA, where they presented him with a silver plaque for his services to world soccer. The official given the task of having the plaque made went on Wikipedia to find out his full name... well you would, wouldn't you? Unfortunately someone, known to have accessed the Net from the UK had, about 5 weeks before the World Cup, edited Blatter's Wikipedia entry. They gave him a middle name, that, for the benefit of our Followers from across the Big Pond, is a British colloquialism for a man's private parts. CLICK HERE to see what was engraved on the plague. Whoever did that entry deserves free beer for a year and great to see Panarama keep ferreting away at Blatter. Wonder why Lord Coe (tosser) keeps protecting Blatter?
Unintentionally - There's a lot of folk out there who think they know what they're talking about and of course they're often the type who become editors on Wikipedia. They'd never do anything as previously mentioned but what they enter is not correct and sometimes it can be months or even years before it's corrected.
That said, Wikipedia is a brilliant concept and any errors are few and far between, you should use it as much as possible but try and verify the information.
The last GAPPER was free of boobs because the PC brigade were moaning about them. So now all the pervs are moaning that the last GAPPER was boring, so this video should keep you all happy. If you look closely there's Phil and his mates, who stand at the corner of the bar in the Albert, dressed as sailors.
Quickly moving on...
Local Real Ale News...
Tomorrow is the European Cup final from Wembley, Man Utd v Barcelona and it should be a cracker. Get your Old Lady to cook you a lovely steak with roasted vegetables and gravy, cover it with foil and bring it to the Speedwell to share amongst your fellow drinkers. Kick-off's at 2000hrs and Margo's on the bar doing her usual tricks with her breasts. Her Old Man was doing his usual trick this week... he takes their dopey afghan hound out for a walk at 1515hrs just as all the young school girls are walking home and of course they make a fuss of the dog. There's a name for it,
it's called grooming.
News is in of a beer festival planned for Saturday & Sunday 18th & 19th of June at the Speedwell Rooms. All 3 local breweries will be there, Townes, Spire and Raw. £5 entry but £2 refund on your glass... not bad.
Last time the Speedwell Rooms was packed it was an illegal boxing match when Terry Bull from Staveley fought Manky Mick but Manky Mick was just fooling around.
MysteryBarfly has heard a whisper that there's trouble in the household of Steve and Ruth. Ruth's an artist and the barmaid at the Speedwell and Steve is her live-in lover and a security expert. Ruth displays her artwork (animals painted on pebbles) in the Speedwell and once, a coach full of Scousers came in on their way back from a beer festival. Inevitably, a few items went missing, like an ashtray and a picture but not one of Ruth's pebbles were taken. She's actually not bad on other surfaces... CLICK HERE ,
Steve is one of the most highly trained individuals you'll ever meet, don't let his incredibly dim comments and vacant looks fool you. He handles major breaches at Hillsborough stadium and walks David Blunkett's dog at half time. Last week the Queen had him at Windsor sorting out her security problems and here he is not walking the corgis. Windsor is on the flight path to Heathrow airport and planes are constantly very low overhead. An American tourist was talking to him and asked... “It's a wonderful castle but what made them build it on the flight path of an airport?”
GAPPER will keep you informed of any more whispers.
Swiftly moving on...
VIDEO BANK... (3)
1. You've never seen driving like this and it's all to advertise a shoe.
2. Even women are having a go at this incredible driving... Click Here.
3. To finish off the Video Bank Click Here to see Nasty McNasty teasing Bryn.
Finally, this months quiz and it's a cracker. GAPPER has found you the biggest photo in the world. It's 80 megapixels in size (400,000 x 200,000) and it's a panaramic view of London. It's said that you can see into 10,000 windows. It's been utilised by Peugeot to advertise their new hybrid car by providing a puzzle, so you can have a go on the puzzle if you like but that's not the quiz. Like most things which push the boundaries of technology, the game doesn't work in IE8 or IE7 so you'll have to upgrade to IE9 or use Chrome or Firefox . Close the "How To Play" window and use the controls to zoom in or your mouse to drag the view around and the first person to tell GAPPER (email or Contact page) the name of the building whose roof was used to take the photo from wins 8 pints of beer. The company behind the photo have also done the biggest indoor photo (40 megapixels) and it's stunning. Once the quiz is over, links to them both will be provided but until then try your best at the quiz... CLICK HERE,
Bye for now
GAPPER No. 7
Date - 27 /May/2011
A monthly publication of humour and satire. Some articles are true and some are made up.
Become a Follower...
INFO... Any links that open an image will also close it or click the image itself to close it.
Click these video links once to bring it to the front and twice to send it to the back.